The time was 11:53 pm.
The sound of water dripping from the tap was magnified in the silence of the two bedroom house. Crickets were doing their thing adding to the outre setting. The heat was oppressive and the sultry nature of the weather in these latitudes led to a sheen of sweat making those living in the house look as if they had just stepped out of a bath.
Mbeki, father of three, had actually just stepped out of a relaxing late evening shower and crossed over to the far end of the bedroom to lift the creaking wooden window up a few inches. The resulting draft of hot, stifling air felt surprisingly cool as he dried quickly. Walking over to the dusty mirror on the dresser he saw his profile reflected in the feeble light of an ornate table lamp on his right. The flickering light threw the left half of his face into shadow sharpening the craggy jaw and the steely glint in his eyes.
He then dressed and entered the drawing room where his wife was sitting at the dining table, reading the bible, his youngest son was asleep in the other bedroom and his daughter of fifteen was lounging on the couch reading a paperback by the faint light coming through from the open bedroom door.
He crossed over and turned on the lamp by the sofa and pulled a chair alongside his wife at the table. There were a few newspapers lying on it. He took one at random and tried to occupy himself until his wife was ready to serve dinner. His wife Miriam was two years his younger, homey and kind with blue eyes and a cherubic face. He now looked at her as she put her book down and enquired about his eldest son, Pablo.
The time was 12 am.
Pablo Mbeki, with a sprint in his step and flying hair ran into his parents flat.
"Where have you been?" asked his parents in amazement. "Whats the matter with you? Its so late already!"
"Oh, Don't ask!, its so incredible! I never expected this.."
Pablo was shaking with suppressed energy. He sank into a chair at the dining table.
"Its unbelievable!.. You can't imagine. Look!"
His sister jumped out of the sofa and went to her brother. His younger brother woke up, came into the drawing room rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"Whats the matter? You don't look like yourself!"
"Its because I am delighted mom. All of the country knows who I am! Till now only you knew there was a Bank accountant named Pablo, now all of the country knows it. Mom. Oh Lord!"
"What has happened? calm down and tell us first"
"We live in a civilized world, the papers report everything! If anything happens nothing is hidden, everything is known at once. Till now only famous people and celebrities got their name published in the papers, but now they have gone ahead and published mine!!.
"What do you mean? Where?"
The father turned pale, the mother crossed herself and his brother went closer to him.
"Yes! my name has been published! Now the whole country knows me, keep the paper mom in memory of it."
Pablo pulled out of his pocket a copy of the paper and gave it to his father, pointing out a passage circled in pencil.
"Read it"
His mom glanced at the holy image and crossed herself. His father began to read " At eleven o'clock on the evening of the 9th of June, a bank accountant of the name of Pablo Mbeki..."
"You see,, you see!, Go on!"
".... a Bank accountant of the name of Pablo Mbeki coming from the Three States bar in downtown Brairville in an intoxicated condition..."
"Thats me!.. It's all described exactly!. Go on!"
".... intoxicated condition, slipped and fell under the wheels of a twenty ton truck carrying crates of fruits and vegetables from the neighboring town of Knouse. Mbeki, at first in an unconscious condition was immediately rushed by the police to the nearest emergency care facility and there examined by a doctor. The blow he had received to the back of his head..."
"It was from the shaft dad.. Go on!.. read the rest!"
".... he had received to the back of the head turned out to be fatal... and his body was shifted to the town morgue pending an investigation..."
The lamps in the drawing room and the bedroom went out at once and the entire house was plunged into darkness. There was a deep keening sound that made their hair stand on end and just as the terror was too much to bear the lights came back on. The chair Pablo was sitting at was empty and Mbeki was left staring at the penciled circle around the article in the newspaper clutched in his hand....
The sound of water dripping from the tap was magnified in the silence of the two bedroom house. Crickets were doing their thing adding to the outre setting. The heat was oppressive and the sultry nature of the weather in these latitudes led to a sheen of sweat making those living in the house look as if they had just stepped out of a bath.
Mbeki, father of three, had actually just stepped out of a relaxing late evening shower and crossed over to the far end of the bedroom to lift the creaking wooden window up a few inches. The resulting draft of hot, stifling air felt surprisingly cool as he dried quickly. Walking over to the dusty mirror on the dresser he saw his profile reflected in the feeble light of an ornate table lamp on his right. The flickering light threw the left half of his face into shadow sharpening the craggy jaw and the steely glint in his eyes.
He then dressed and entered the drawing room where his wife was sitting at the dining table, reading the bible, his youngest son was asleep in the other bedroom and his daughter of fifteen was lounging on the couch reading a paperback by the faint light coming through from the open bedroom door.
He crossed over and turned on the lamp by the sofa and pulled a chair alongside his wife at the table. There were a few newspapers lying on it. He took one at random and tried to occupy himself until his wife was ready to serve dinner. His wife Miriam was two years his younger, homey and kind with blue eyes and a cherubic face. He now looked at her as she put her book down and enquired about his eldest son, Pablo.
The time was 12 am.
Pablo Mbeki, with a sprint in his step and flying hair ran into his parents flat.
"Where have you been?" asked his parents in amazement. "Whats the matter with you? Its so late already!"
"Oh, Don't ask!, its so incredible! I never expected this.."
Pablo was shaking with suppressed energy. He sank into a chair at the dining table.
"Its unbelievable!.. You can't imagine. Look!"
His sister jumped out of the sofa and went to her brother. His younger brother woke up, came into the drawing room rubbing his eyes sleepily.
"Whats the matter? You don't look like yourself!"
"Its because I am delighted mom. All of the country knows who I am! Till now only you knew there was a Bank accountant named Pablo, now all of the country knows it. Mom. Oh Lord!"
"What has happened? calm down and tell us first"
"We live in a civilized world, the papers report everything! If anything happens nothing is hidden, everything is known at once. Till now only famous people and celebrities got their name published in the papers, but now they have gone ahead and published mine!!.
"What do you mean? Where?"
The father turned pale, the mother crossed herself and his brother went closer to him.
"Yes! my name has been published! Now the whole country knows me, keep the paper mom in memory of it."
Pablo pulled out of his pocket a copy of the paper and gave it to his father, pointing out a passage circled in pencil.
"Read it"
His mom glanced at the holy image and crossed herself. His father began to read " At eleven o'clock on the evening of the 9th of June, a bank accountant of the name of Pablo Mbeki..."
"You see,, you see!, Go on!"
".... a Bank accountant of the name of Pablo Mbeki coming from the Three States bar in downtown Brairville in an intoxicated condition..."
"Thats me!.. It's all described exactly!. Go on!"
".... intoxicated condition, slipped and fell under the wheels of a twenty ton truck carrying crates of fruits and vegetables from the neighboring town of Knouse. Mbeki, at first in an unconscious condition was immediately rushed by the police to the nearest emergency care facility and there examined by a doctor. The blow he had received to the back of his head..."
"It was from the shaft dad.. Go on!.. read the rest!"
".... he had received to the back of the head turned out to be fatal... and his body was shifted to the town morgue pending an investigation..."
The lamps in the drawing room and the bedroom went out at once and the entire house was plunged into darkness. There was a deep keening sound that made their hair stand on end and just as the terror was too much to bear the lights came back on. The chair Pablo was sitting at was empty and Mbeki was left staring at the penciled circle around the article in the newspaper clutched in his hand....
liked the laid back atmosphere of the house initially. reminded me days before the internet.
ReplyDeleteNice description and the surprise twist ending ..
ReplyDeleteNarration successfully takes the reader smoothly from a family atmosphere to a suspense thriller..Liked the details and the conversation part of the climax.
ReplyDeleteNice writing Rajiv! I liked it..that is a nice twist..it was pleasant and when everything seems so right, they get this blow..as Rohit said, that is how our evenings are spent before internet! good job!
ReplyDelete